How do I approach my partner to bring up exploring kink?

Bringing up kink with your partner can be exciting, but it’s important to approach it with care, respect, and clear communication. Here’s a good step-by-step approach:

1. Check the Timing

Pick a time when you’re both relaxed and not in the middle of something stressful or distracting. Avoid bringing it up in the middle of sex unless it feels right for both of you.

2. Start with Curiosity and Openness

Use “I” statements to express your desires. For example:

• “I’ve been thinking about exploring some new things together sexually…”

• “I’ve always been curious about kink and I’d love to explore that with you if you’re open to it.”

3. Gauge Their Comfort Level

Ask open-ended questions like:

• “Is that something you’ve ever been curious about?”

• “How do you feel about exploring new dynamics like dominance, bondage, or roleplay?”

This makes it a conversation, not a demand.

4. Be Specific, But Start Small

If they’re open to the idea, suggest starting with something light (e.g., blindfolds, light spanking, dirty talk) before diving into more intense territory.

5. Normalise Consent and Communication

Emphasise that their comfort is important and that you’re happy to move at a pace they enjoy:

• “We can try things slowly and talk about what feels good or not.”

• “I’d love for this to be something we explore together, only if you’re into it too.”

6. Offer to Learn Together

Suggest reading or watching something about kink together (books, YouTube videos, workshops). This can make it less intimidating and more like an adventure you’re both on.

Have fun, and enjoy!